New blog

While you are welcome to browse the information on this blog, I've not got a 1300 any more, so there won't be much in the way of updates. My current blog project can be found at...

kirkcafe.blogspot.com

Hope to see you there.

Trick or Treat? It’s begging. Just go away.

(or how to fail with the compliments of the season.)

A previous year, early in the evening of the 29th October and there is a knock at the door. I open, expecting the usual suspects of chuggers, double glazing, Mormons etc but instead I am met with a youth, not much shorter than myself, wearing a cheap “Scream” mask.

“Trick or Treat” he exclaims, holding out his hand expectantly.

I reply “No thanks” and gently close the door, for fear of crushing various body parts in the doorway. I wasn’t in the mood to educate the youth in his epic fail, but I should have let him know a few things…

First of all, it’s the 29th October. It’s not sweets or money you need, but a diary. Did you not notice the lack of similarly attired individuals in the area? I appreciate that this is a large housing estate, but it’s not a mail shot you are doing. If you really want to make a bit of money, speak to one of the takeaway proprietors and you could deliver a menu or two at the same time.

Second, aren’t you a bit old for this? The time to stop “Trick or Treating” is when you have grown tall enough to reach doorbells unassisted. You can resume when you are old enough to drink. Until then, please grow up.

And that mask, really… When I was younger than yourself, we used to spend weeks making our costumes, getting it all together, so if you’re not prepared to put as much effort into your costume as I would, then please darken my door. Oh, I’m sorry, it’s not a cheap “Scream” mask, as you actually spent a bit more and got the one that has fake blood pouring down the front. Tasteful. I see now that you have tried to speculate to accumulate.

Now that I’m on my rant, “Trick or Treat?” This is Scotland, it’s called Guising. If you want to use an American tradition to make some money, then go get a job in McDonalds. You will be less disappointed working there than when I refuse to contribute to your continuing economic development. I believe you will also get an occasional free burger.

Shall I even mention the tumshie lamp that you are clearly not carrying. Get a big one and you can go home to haggis, neaps and tatties knowing that you have contributed the core of your lamp to the evening meal.

And in looking at you, do I even know you? I know all the wee folk round here, and you don’t seem familiar. Casting the net a bit wide, aren’t we?

Were you trying to scare me? If you want a scare in return, I’ll answer the door with a chainsaw. I have done this before, and the caller went running. In my letter of apology I did suggest to the TV Licensing man that it was probably a bad night to make house calls.

And when we went out guising, we told a joke or two, sang a song or generally entertained. Yes, I am finding this entertaining, but for all the wrong reasons. So we’re getting to the crux of my argument. If you are going to knock at my door and expect a donation from me with no possibility of return, then you are not guising, you are begging. Now go away and stop bothering me.”

SLAM

International Rescue

This blog has been reopened to provide a plug for the International Rescue Corps. They are a Scottish based charity that provides assistance in disaster affected areas. They are desperate to get out to Haiti to help out, but they are a bit short of cash at present. Can you please visit their website and see if you can spare some pennies.

I can't sit by and see an organisation called International Rescue fail.

Please visit www.intrescue.org for more information.

Thanks and good night

This is going to be my last post on this blog. Since the collision in February I've not had anything much to say about the Honda Pan European as I've not benefited from owning one. Today I bought a used Honda Goldwing so I can't really justify keeping a blog about the Pan European going.

I enjoyed the Pan European, but I promised myself that when I traded up it would be to get a 'Wing. I took a new, airbag and sat nav equipped model out for a test run a few months ago, enjoyed it, but couldn't justify the cost of a new bike. Besides, I like someone else paying the depreciation. I bought a nice used model, low mileage and with minimal aftermarket "features" added.

Post collision I feel I have recovered very well and I'm grateful to all the NHS people who have stuck the two sick Gerbils back together. As I mentioned before, don't knock the NHS - they do a great job.

Finally, if you are looking for more information about the Honda Pan European, please visit www.st-owners.com where you will find a great community discussing both flavours of this great bike. There are plenty of articles there to help you get the most out of your bike.

Thanks for reading.

Ride safe.

So long, and thanks for all the fish.

Don't knock the NHS

Over the past few days, the press in the USA have been suggesting the NHS is a sub standard service. I'd like to jump to the defence of an organisation that has served me well.

Now that I've had my last appointments, I think I'm finished with hospitals for a while, and I'm genuinely glad to see the back of them. I'm a big wimp, so the sight of people in white coats makes my blood pressure shoot up, although the standard of care I've received recently has been exemplary.

The good old NHS gets a lot of stick, but if we take a step back and see what we are blessed with, it really is outstanding. Mrs Gerbil and I were scooped off the road by a couple of paramedics who were at the scene of our accident within minutes. We've had multiple x-rays, scans and a quite complicated bit of surgery each. We didn't want for anything throughout our time in hospital, and the wards were clean, and staffed with genuinely caring people.

After surgery, we had good follow-up care including physiotherapy, more x-rays and more appointments with our surgeons to make sure everything was working fine. I've not had to pay for any of this, and I've not been left waiting for treatment. We were given a lucky bag full of some serious painkillers, which made the misery all the more bearable! In a couple of years, nobody will pay for prescriptions in Scotland either - I think they are free in Wales at the moment.

Folk might knock the NHS, and like any large organisation it will have its faults, but given the level of care I've had recently, I'm not going to defend it to the death. Preferably not my death!

Bottom line is, it's our NHS and its only us here in the UK that can discuss its minor faults. To those US "journalists" that know sod all about the UK, please get your facts in order. A bit of social healthcare never harmed anyone.

More Blood, More Sweat and Another Cup of Tea

I am very pleased to be able to Link to Tom Reynolds' latest book, "More Blood, More Sweat and Another Cup of Tea" which was released into the wild this week. This is the second book from the bloke behind Random Acts of Reality. Unlike the book reviewers on TV, I'll not pretend to have read this book yet, however the original "Blood, Sweat and Tea" was an outstanding read, and should be required reading for any thieving polititian who cuts NHS funding while at the same time is fiddling their expenses. I'll be reading it this weekend, so please don't give away the ending!

Please buy the book here...

or...

assuming I get the embedding thing right, you can read the actual book below. I'm not ripping off a hard working author here, as it's published under a Creative Commons licence and Tom wants this published in as many places as possible. I'm only too happy to help. Enjoy.

The end of the blog?

How can I call the blog "Pan European" when I've taken these two for a run? The DN-01 is an odd beast, but onceyou get out of the habbit of attempting to use the clutch, and you realise that there's no engine braking, it's a decent enough bike. It's built around someone a bit smaller than myself, so the ergonomics were not quite there. It is probably going to end up with a huge following, and an owners club that argues about whether the black or the purple model is the fastest.

And as for the 'Wing... Well you don't realise that you are driving around on a half ton of bike. I'm tempted...